Denise

I started exercising not too long ago. Probably about 3 months now, and I've really noticed a change in my body. Richard Simmons has gotten too easy, unless I turn every knee bend into a deep squat, and add a hop every chance I can. But I didn't have Richard when I first began exercising. All I had was an old Denise Austin tape from 1986.
I hate that tape. It's from the early days of aerobics, so all it is is Denise running in place and waving her arms around different ways. For the first few weeks I would feel like throwing up after I was done with it. When I exercised, I would imagine she was a puppet. I would swear at her, say I hated her.
Then I discovered my library had a huge exercise collection, so I started doing those instead, leaving Denise as my "punishment" tape--punishment for not having the forethought to get something better at the library. Believe me, I did not revisit it for quite some time.
Then one morning, all I had was Denise and a Harry Potter movie. I put them on, side by side, (yes, on two tv's!)and worked out. The Denise exercises were easy, and I followed them out of the corner of my eye. Maybe because it was from the corner of my eye, I noticed this:

Poor Denise! Her '80's hair is all sticking up wrong, she's staggering about, her hand movements all limp and uncontrolled. And I felt really bad. I don't know how many takes it took to do this one half hour of film, but it looks like they ran her ragged--and I started to wonder if I were in better shape now than she was then, even with my beer gut.

Do Women Have the Moral High Ground?

Last night, after several drinks with my boyfriend, I said I was going home. He said he was going to his usual watering hole for another beer before he went home. I must've expressed surprise (he had just said an hour before that if there were no bar from the bar to the ferry, he probably wouldn't drink hardly at all), because he asked me, "What, do you think that's morally wrong?"

No one puts the word "moral" and "you" (meaning me) in the same sentence. Ethical, yes. Because it implies something more open than the sort of biblical "good" that "moral" implies.

And then I put pi x r2 together and saw the whole picture. In shock, I called my best friend for advice. "Charles! My boyfriend thinks I'm his moral compass!"

Charles said that was quite common. He said he feels that way about his new wife. I said, first of all, that I'm not Christian. My idea of being good is being more of one's self and bad being less of one's self. So, if being a drunk is who you really are, that's who I want you to be (though I think that's not necessarily what I'm looking for in a long term relationship). And besides, making a woman (or anyone) your moral compass is really dangerous. "Women aren't more "good" than men. They are just more conniving and sneakier about their--their--"

"Evil-ness?"

"Yes."

Charles promised to be careful. You be more careful, too.

Sexual Positioning Furniture

The chair and the swing look the most interesting for the brave folks who don't have children asking what those contraptions are in the bedroom. The "liberator" stuff looks like it might be good for people with lower back problems. To see the whole site, click here.

You probably should click there, it will get you past disclaimers a mile long. I don't want to think about injuries on some of these things.

Sex in Shape

My boyfriend was horrified to hear that sex had gotten better "since I started working out." He loves me for my mind of course. Who else can go from talking about comics with gorilla covers to condoms in less than two sentences? (And don't you wish you were around for that conversation?) But I have noticed a difference, not only all the new moves I can do but how long I can do them and how fast and aggressive I can be. He feels like he gets in deeper--can't be that much deeper! I haven't lost that much weight. The most important part for me is the difference in the way he touches me. His caresses are more aggressive and firm, a real turn-on for me. It's not a conscious change for him, but we're both still just animals, and physical appearance is still an interaction, whether we find that "shallow" or not: we still see and are seen, and that in itself is a love affair.

Blogicide

Overwhelmed by myspace blog subscriptions, vast numbers of worthy "friends" and underwhelmed by how much attention I could pay to each, I committed blogicide on myspace a few weeks ago. Well, not really blogicide--I cut and pasted the whole thing into a word doc, and then killed my myspace account. I don't miss it. I think it hurt for an entire half hour. I'm glad I made a few real friends out of my myfriends.

I wish I could be funnier about this but my tube socks are too tight. Ow.

Hot Moms in the U.S.A.

So, in my morning Metro newslet, there was an article on the new tv show, Hottest Mom in America, in which the writer said that it's basically fuktup (and I agree, but I don't think this is any more fugtup than any other reality show), and that moms shouldn't be worried about hotness. The rules said that the age of the contestants could be anywhere from 18 to 60, Gilderman commented that 60-year-old moms had real problems.

When I went to the Hot Moms web site, I couldn't help noticing that fake boobs were prevalent among the contestants.

Here is my response:
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: me
To: thedatinglife@metro.us
Sent: Thursday, October 12, 2006 8:53:19 AM
Subject: Hot Moms?

Dear Mr. Gilderman:

Thank you for pointing out the insignificance of so-called "hotness" in a mother's life. Hopefully, your article will reach the desks of Ms. Jolie's, Ms. Witherspoon's, and Ms. Paltrow's respective publicists. I am sure, once they are informed, they will start eating Twinkies(R) and bow out gracefully. And you are completely right about sexy mothers at 60! I shall send letters to Catherine Deneuve, Jane Fonda and Susan Sarandon myself.

"Suki"

http://love-suki.blogspot.com
http://23rd-mandalation.net

the '70's returns.

I always heard the '70's would return. Not the cool, hippie '70's, but the nasty, long-haired balding aqua-velva gold chain "what's your sign,baby" '70's. And there it is. Living proof. Not only did this dude have all the aforementioned things in that list, but he also had streaks in his hair. Streaks!

Oh, man.

I always knew things would get bad if I got a camera phone.

Easy-Lay Crab Stuffed Shells.

Once again, I can't believe I haven't written in so long.

For an "Artist Date" (that is something that you spend time doing, just cuz you feel like it, just for fun) I made crab-stuffed shells for my boyfriend and his dad. They loved them so much, they were smacking their lips, and eating even after they were full. This is how you do it: when you go to the grocery store, grab the box of giant shells first--make sure it has the recipe for shells stuffed with cheese on the back.
Get all of the ingredients, but only buy 1/2 of the needed ricotta cheese (one container of it, instead of 2).

Then buy: 2 cans of white crab, plus a small onion, or 3 cans of white crab.

When you are ready to cook:
1. drain the cans of crabmeat, and, if you are using it--dice half the onion (that means chop it into as small pieces as you can without cutting your fingers off)
2. sautee the crab and if any, onion in butter for 3 minutes. set aside.
3. start following the directions on the back of the box. when you make the filling, add the sauteed crab (& onion?)
4. finish the recipe just the way it says on the box--timing/temp, everything.

Deeelish! If you want to make it a little extra seafoody, you can get a can of tiny shrimp to add to the sauce before baking, too.

yes, this was a bit of an aphrodisiac.

:)

Good Girl Sex vs. What I Like

Some people have asked me what good girl sex is.
Simply put, it's the sex your parents would want you to have:

no clothes, including "uniforms" (see below)
no handcuffs or rope
no vibrators or other machinery
no spanking or other implements of pain
no fantasy games
no pornography
in a bed
between 2 people who know and love each other
and lasts a half hour, including making out, etc.

I think I was bored of good girl sex around age 16. My boyfriend did me naked in the missionary position every day for a month. All I thought to myself, is this it? Is this what everyone's excited about?

For me, sex is also an art--and by that I also mean not just high quality in technique, but also a means of expression. So, I not only enjoy clothes, hand cuffs, games, public sex (yes, and at times with people I don't know) and porno (though I have, sworn off porno for months at a time) I also need some of these accessories to feel like I'm really express myself fully in this art form. Which isn't exactly "bad girl" sex-- a lot of religious people wouldn't like it, and certainly not what my parents would want for me.

But it's what makes me feel fulfilled as a person, so I try not to let other people's opinions bother me.

Night and Day. Saturday and Sunday.

Saturday turned out to be such a glamorous day...after
taking my boyfriend to Penn Station, and kissing one of the most
romantic goodbye kisses ever in a train station--that should've been
followed by me running after the departing train and waving, but
because of terrorism, non-ticket holders are not allowed on the
platform anymore, I got my own train ticket to Long Beach, Long Island.
The line for a ticket was long--about 20 minutes, and the people in
front of me--all, also heading points east, were gaggles of golfers and
bunches of the brawny beach set. I had never seen so many tan people
together at once. It made me feel...pale and alien. or perhaps like a
pale alien.

Although the line was long, the beach was long, and so was the island,
the train ride was relatively short: 45 minutes, and I was hugging my
friend, Jessica. We had been friends for 17 years now. After marching
up and down the main drag looking for an open Thai, then open Italian
restaurant, we landed at the "Global Cafe" or some such. Deeelish!
Jessica had an 8,000 calorie steak salad, and I had Japanese Pankar and
barbecue fries (fish n' chips).Afterward, for a surprise, she took me
for a mani-pedi and 10 minute backrub, and I said, "Jessica, you took
me out for my birthday and made me a year younger." Actually, it was
more like five years younger. (Toes "garnet" and fingers "Fed Up" which
matches my skin).



We went to the beach, and actually got into the water--the waves were
rough and I did some body surfing, but not before some Baywatch action.
The lifeguard supervisor's truck came, and the life guard frantically
blew his whistle. Everyone out of the water! Some people thought it
might be a shark. The lifeguard said they already had an emergency, but
no one was rescued. I thought it might be a crowd control exercise.
Guinea pig again!



After a few glasses of wine on the penthouse rooftop, complete with
gargoyles, I headed back to Manhattan in a run. I had to make my
friend's play reading of "Kryptonite Hearts." It was a costumed reading
about people who get a kinky high about pretending to be superheroes
(and the villains who like to be beaten by them.) It's too bad one of
my friends couldn't make it, but it was a packed house, anyway. After
that, dinner with the stars of the play, and back at my house by 12:30.
Strange ferry action on the way home: a group of 30 or so were singing
victory songs in Spanish or maybe Portuguese.  Some NY'ers got
really angry, and started chanting NOO YAHK! NOO YAHK! at them, like a
bunch of assholes.



Sunday, restless, and feeling the need to drink and have a laugh, I went to surprise my friend, Steve Bunche

at his job in Brooklyn. Surprise to me, though, was that his hours
changed, so I went for a walk. I think I became dehydrated with
low-glucose, because it became a very long walk:



Once I found some decent Spanish food at a restaurant my 2nd
husband and I were regulars at, I decided that cool air was better than
hot, that being in the dark movie theater was just the escape I needed
from the missing my boyfriend, and now my ex-... So I got on the train,
and went to the 20-plex nearest the ferry terminal:



By the time I got there--3 pm, nothing was playing but Clerks
II--and gee I didn't know if I'd get it without having seen
Clerks  I-- and so I hung out at the World Financial Center air
conditioning, with the well-paid tourist set and read a book on massage
so I can heal my boyfriends arms (and my shoulders) and ended up having
to run to the ferry to meet my kid.


That's it. And I still have my cold. And poison ivy.

Orgy Fun

I haven't been involved in anything like an orgy since I was a teen. Here's a group that sponsors orgies as "higher consciousness" events where you can learn about your barriers, overcome your fear of rejection (of all the people who will turn you down in your most sensitive state) etc., etc.

It might be good if you are single. If you go as a couple, be warned: someone will get more or better than the other, and all hell will break loose. Love/jealousy are ancient and intense energies. I would not fool with them.

Why Not Blogging

I'm so tired, for the past month, all I've had is normal, "good girl" sex.
I'm so tired, I feel no joy in personality.
In fact, I feel scrubbed clean of it.
I really do not think sleep would help.
Nor coffee.
Nor cocaine.
Perhaps that is because I am so tired, I can barely see the coffee in front of me.
And on top of that, I am tired of tiredness. It's a twilight reality, a starvation of the soul.

The Kind of Pin-Up Gal I am.

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?

You're Bettie Page!
Take this quiz!








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Choosing Porn for Couples

So, you and your lover have decided to take the plunge and try watching porn together. Maybe you're looking for educational purposes (new positions) or maybe she's into chicks or watching or just curious, or bored or you wouldn't have it any other way. In any case, you are at Ye Olde Porn Superstore or Pleasure Palace or online, and you notice Hot Ass #27--9 hours of Hot Ass Sex is $39.99,and so is Possessions, directed by Andrew Blake which is 116 minutes. Sure, Possessions looks better, but... nine hours is seven and a half hours more...

But Hot Ass #27 is going to be seven and a half hours more of...tit enlargement scars, ass zits, scenes so badly lit all the skin is green and other gross stuff that chicks just don't want to look at. Not only will she be sickened, but she'll think all men are pigs or worse, "oh god, my guy is a pig."

Now if you buy anything by Andrew Blake or anything by Vivid Video, it may have an actual plot--sure they're dumb, but it does help break the ice--but if she's turned on enough by the video, believe me, you are not going to be watching more than fifteen minutes at a time anyway...it'll last...

To see more simple rules of couples porn video enjoyment, click on the title of this entry. For more suggestions of porn for women, click here.

So obvious,...

Erotic Thriller

You've made your own rules in life - and sometimes that catches up with you. Winding a web of deceit comes naturally, and no one really knows the true you. Your best movie matches: Swimming Pool, Unfaithful, The Crush

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

So obvious, why bother?

Yes, but is it art?

For my next art project, I am going to buy four of these paint by numbers kits


And paint each one of them a different wrong way (if one is supposed to be brown, I'll make it pink, in the next, the one that's supposed to be brown will be blue, etc.) and put them all together on my wall.

Too bad I didn't think of it for 666 day. Man, how should I celebrate 666 day?

How COULD HE? SHE? THEY?

I was thinking of closing out this blog and my myspace blog today--generally committing blogicide--when I saw this:

FREE RENT PLUS ADULT AGREEMENT
Reply to: Dennis14th@aol.com
Date: 2006-06-05, 3:52AM EDT


I have a friend who has done this and now in a mutual agreed relationship with a person that is benefiting from their arrangement. I have a decent size room in Staten Island that Is a great bedroom. I don't need the rent but being busy, I find it hard to socialize nor do I have a girlfriend. I am offering a femenine girl this room in exchange for her upmost generosity (which would be sexual) . I am out of town a lot and work all hours. this is also a house and not an apartment. so if you think this is you, then lets help each other out. Everything is included. please attach a photo with your responses and if you have any questions please feel free to ask. Serious responses only and uptight nerdy people who have nothing better to do then to get into other peoples business don't waste your time, I don't care.


* yes -- cats are OK - purrr
* this is in or around Staten Island
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests




168088268

Birthday weekend

Well, to be honest, it started out with a fight between me and my boyfriend. It was my first husband who noticed that I pick fights when I'm very horny, and I had been all week. So, on Friday night, I picked a fight, went home and cried myself to sleep. Out of horniness.

The next morning, I was still upset, and thought of cancelling thedinner with my boyfriend, my best old friend and his fiance, the coolest couple on staten island, and my pal from 23rd Mandalation. But somehow, I got myself together by telling myself I would have fun shopping for a special vintage outfit for the dinner. Telling myself I would find a pencil skirt in zebra stripes got me in a party mood.

Unfortunately, there wasn't one at the store...I ended up with a rock'n'roll princess outfit consisting of a black lace shawl, a halter top with a glittery skull on it, and a floor length taffeta skirt. I called my boyfriend to pick me up at the Everything Goes store, and went home where he took care of that little problem I mentioned before.

The next thing we knew, it was time to go into the city--I forgot my mascara, bought some at the Duane Reade, after standing in a long line and watching two Japanese ladies put away candy they wanted to buy, but were not going to because of the line. They should've kept it, because, basically, we were out the door before they were.

The boyfriend bought me a gold bracelet from a street vendor, and then we headed over to L'Annam, a Vietnamese restaurant. I had only been to their old location on 27th St., which I think I mostly enjoyed because their menu was in such broken English: besides, it featured Grandma Special Recipe Stew, which I think was made of grandmas. The new place had no a/c, the waitrons kept bringing us the wrong food, and finally picked up the tip before we left the table.

All of my friends, new and old, internet and bar buds, got along great. No, one had met each other before. My best friend's fiancee rolfed my arm at the table. We talked about Wonder Woman and her evil Panzer villain, Charles's upcoming play reading (it's his play being read, not him reading someone else's), Opus Dei, my friend Paranoidave who I left behind in Pittsburgh. Paranoidave was a paranoid schizophrenic who was afraid of black helicopters, George H.W. Bush, white vans and yellow trucks. It was Charles who said it sounded like Paranoid Lucky Charms "black helicopters, white vans, yellow trucks...mmmm...psychotically delicious!"

Afterward we went for egg creams, and finally beer at Otto's Shrunken Head, a tiki bar--and basically my favorite bar in the city. They were having the "midnight hop" The Rockin' 69's a rockabilly band was playing. We were all a little afraid because 1) the bass player had no ass, and was humping his upright bass 2) there were about 15 women there dressed as Betty Page. I had to ask one of them why. The answer made me cringe: "It's the look of the scene I guess." You know the scene has gone down hill when even the artsy kids can't think for themselves.

My gifts were an ameri-bear, Holy Blood Holy Grail, books by Lloyd Alexander, and an air conditioner.

Sunday night, the boyfriend and I drank, and hung out with sailors (it's fleet week) and people playing "Journey" on the juke at the Side Street Saloon.

Monday the boyfriend picked me up that air conditioner I mentioned earlier, and had dinner with his brother and his family.

There was so much more to the weekend. It was so great, I want to get a tattoo to remember it all by.

My Heroes

I know a lot of people think that this blog is me, but that's just like saying a writer's magazine articles are him. To bring us back to reality, here is a list of my heroes. I hope you enjoy.
This is by chronological order. I don't think that anyone has been completely de-heroed, just gained or lost importance over time.

1. My dad.
2.Anyone who had a painting at MOMA
3.Laura Ingalls Wilder (the writer, not the TV character
4.The financial analyst on WBZ news around 1981. (He was just so smart!)
5.
Constantin Brancusi
6.

David Alfaro Siqueiros

7. John Lennon


7.Dennis O'Neil, because he took Batman who sold Wonderbread and made him an instrument of vengeance.

8. Alfred North Whitehead, educator

9.  Edward Bellamy, utopian

10.
Len Kaminski--brilliant comic book writer with the wrong dream. Also boyfriend. Can you smell trouble?

11. Bill Gates, Steve Case, Steve Jobs, esp. Jobs.

12. John Paul Jones and John Bonham (rhythm section--look it up, if you have to)

13.
 Dave Dreiwitz. Fab bass player--I kissed his hands like he was the pope once.

14. William Goldman, screenwriter

15.
Those Braun Bros.(foreground) of the Negatones: Brilliant Composers.
16.Julia Cameron
17.Ben Franklin
18. Urban pioneers
19. Stan Schmidt, editor of Analog

Book Review: The System: How To Get Laid TODAY!

Okay, I will admit I was offended by the title: even hot chicks are more than just pieces of meat, you know. But then I was fascinated. Would this be about lies, tricks? Does this man know some core secret about women that even I do not know? But I squared my shoulders, opened the book, and found out that it is the Goddess's gift to men and women. All of us.

Think about this: every one, man or woman, just wants to get laid every once in a while, and this book is about getting those people together. So whether you are suffering from severe horniness, or suffering from your friend's severe horniness,it helps YOU. First of all, it teaches men how to scan for women who are horny at that instant (so they stay away from the rest of us) and teaches them the cues that women use to indicate interest/noninterest. Because face it, if there is anything more annoying than a guy hounding you all night, it's throwing yourself at a man all night only to learn later that he was into you too, but just had the blinders on for whatever reason. Men who read this book learn to pick up the cues faster, or move on faster. Yippee! Whotta gift!

The other thing this book teaches is for men to take control of the situation sooner, rather than later. Not every "good girl" feels like being "good" all the time. While Mr. Valentine has the gist of women, he doesn't seem to have all of the psychology down--and I'm kind of glad, because I wouldn't want him to know all of our secrets. But for an example, he seems to think that women look for men all the time because of some kind of conscious "game" they are playing, but really, it's because Cosmo or one of the other magazines runs an article every six months reminding us to look for men at the laundromat, or whatever, and supplies us a pick up line or two.

My favorite phrase in the book is "guaranteed panty dropper" and the book includes "Guaranteed Panty Dropping Recipes." I think it should be a sequal, or a cooking show. While I think it is very true that cooking for a woman REALLY REALLY helps, I have heard cooking horror stories from some of my male friends (which involved slaving over a hot stove all day), so I hesitate to use the word "guaranteed."

I think this book is a dandy read--men should pick it up just for the sections about body language and making a woman feel comfortable, even if they do not feel the need to get laid TODAY. Women should read it just for a clear idea of what they are up against (for instance, I didn't know that some men needed to be told not to spank me before we had sex. But apparently some men do. Desperately). But it is also bald in spots. It misses out on meeting intelligent women--we do get the itch too, y'know-- which requires more dialogue on current affairs, or outside interests, rather than just nodding while she talks and asking her about herself. Intelligent women are bored with themselves, but if they share your interests (like you meet them at the opera) they can be easier to talk to/listen to.

It also misses out on the technical--especially in the "How to Be an International Player" section. Okay, stop laughing or sneering: this is actually a section about maintaining casual relationships with women after the first encounter. He does write about treating women well, including being truthful and giving multiple orgasms and adding a little mystery. Aside: I did feel a little offended when I first started reading this chapter, but then I had to ask myself if I would advise women to sleep around while hunting for "the One" and I absolutely would--if for no other reasons than keeping perspective--and a strong ego-- when one guy turns out to be a married, another an alkie, another an international player, and finally, a nice, shy one that turns out to be a good guy. And then I didn't feel offended anymore. Like I said, there's little in the way of technical information: it mentions giving us multiple orgasms, but doesn't give any information on how to add stamina or cunninlingus methods. He also mentions leaving women wanting more--which, frankly, leaves me kicking the man's ass out the door while I call an old "friend" who can satisfy. Fortunately, that is what you all have myself and El Buncho for.

If you are single, buy this book!!! (Right now, I am selling my own for $15.00, incl. shipping in U.S.A., just to make back my losses on this and my biblioscopes. My copy is new. Email me at stephanier10301@yahoo.com. All love, no judgments.--Suki.)

Not This Girl

this was a bulletin on myspace. My myfriend Cirese added her own response. I will add my own response tomorrow.

From Cirese:

So far I have seen this pathetic thing twice and I want to put a stop to it.

This girl is CoDependent and Easily led. I will now demonstrate how an Independent Girl with some Good Self Extreme and a Sense of Humor is:

The original ridiculousness is in lower case. I will respond with ALL CAPS

And I will put my responses in italic. I want to say here that there is nothing wrong with being somewhat needy. Without neediness, there is nothing to bring people together. And love and community are some of the most meaningful experiences life has to offer. Ask anyone. Ask Buddha or Jesus, or Aphrodite.--Sukes
--------------------------

*I was once this girl...maybe she is still buried deep inside somewhere under all of this.*

i'm the girl who will put her head on your shoulder, not because she's sleepy, but because she wants to be closer to you...

I'M THE GIRL WHO WILL PUT MY HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER BECAUSE YOU ARE SHORT. IF I WANT TO BE CLOSER TO YOU I WILL GRAB YOU AND GIVE YOU A BIG SMOOCH THEREBY ELIMINATING ALL DOUBT IN YOUR MIND.

I will probably not put my head on your shoulder, because that would interfere with our conversation.

i'm the girl who likes to be kissed in the rain, more than inside your bedroom or in an expensive resturant...

I'M THE GIRL THAT LIKES TO BE KISSED AFTER YOU HAVE ASKED MY PERMISSION FIRST. YOU EVEN TRY ONCE TO DO IT AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT OR IF YOU LOOK LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN SOMEONE VERY DEAD LIKE NOAH AND SOMEONE IN VEGAS LIKE TOM JONES, YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT THE KISSING BUSINESS, OK? YOU CAN SAY HELLO TO BRUISES.

I'm the girl that is so horny, I will french kiss you in public or private. I also prefer sex in public.

i'm the girl who says,"ok, but you owe me..." jokingly not because i actually want something, but because it means i get to spend more time with you...

I AM THE GIRL WILL DIRECTLY TELL YOU THE TERMS OF AGREEMENT AND MAKE YOU SIGN SOMETHING IF YOU OWE ME. I HAVE BEEN SCREWED OVER ENOUGH TIMES BEFORE. IF I WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU I WILL TELL YOU SO DIRECTLY BECAUSE I'M NOT PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE. I WILL EVEN MAKE SUGGESTIONS OF FUN THINGS TO DO.

I don't want anyone to think they owe me anything. I'm a lover, not an obligation.

i'm the girl you can take absolutely anywhere and i will ((or at least try to)) have fun because it means i am spending time with you...

I WILL NOT GO ANYWHERE WITH YOU. YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN GOING POO. YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN BUYING COMPUTER EQUIPMENT, MOUNTAIN CLIMBING GEAR AND ANYTHING INVOLVING ANY SPORT. IF I SOMEHOW ACCIDENTALLY GET DRAGGED ALONG I WILL POUT AND NOT TRY TO HAVE FUN AT ALL. TOGETHER WE WILL MAKE A LIST OF FUN THINGS WE BOTH ENJOY DOING. IF THERE IS NOTHING, WE WILL BE FORCED TO BREAK UP.

I had to divorce my second husband because he liked show tunes and Reggaetone. 'Nuff said.

i'm the girl who is incredibly picky, but when i find someone i like i want to spend the whole night curled up in their arms...

WELL THIS IS ONLY SENSIBLE; BUT THERE IS STILL THAT LITTLE THING CALLED A PROMISE. I'M NOT JUST SPENDING THE NIGHT IN SOMEONE'S ARMS BECAUSE I HAVE PICKED THEM. THEY HAVE TO PICK ME TOO AND THEN AN AGREEMENT MUST BE REACHED TO NOT GO AROUND PICKING OTHER PEOPLE OR CASUAL DISEASES UP THAT MIGHT BE LYING AROUND.

I'm the girl who is a chaste (this does not mean what most people think it means), but raging nympho. I use the blink method (read a book!) and keep a supply of my favorite brand of condoms. Do I have to paint you a picture?

i'm the girl who never forgets all sweet little things you do for me...

I'M THE ONE THAT HAS TO WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN...

I thank profusely, and then only remember that you're a nice guy.

i'm the girl who actually keeps her body parts in her clothing in public...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I'M THE ONE WHO ANSWERS THE MAIL WITHOUT HER TOP ON, AHAHAHAHAHA. NUDITY IS UNDER-RATED. ON THE OTHERHAND, I DO NOT GO "OUT" ON THE TOWN LIKE THIS. I WEAR BODY PAINT AT THE VERY LEAST.


I DO like to dress up for my guy. I want to get all that testosterone going to fuel the long night ahead of us.

i'm the girl who never gives up hope even when i tell others i have...

I MIGHT NOT GIVE UP HOPE, BUT I KNOW ENOUGH WHEN TO SAY 'NO' AND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING STUPID AND PRAYING FOR SOMEONE.

I am the girl who says, fukit, there are so many men out there, why dwell on the wrong one. The day I break up with someone is also the day the interesting ads appear on craigslist.

i'm the girl who once i let you into my heart, there's always a place there with your name on it. & even if we spend time apart.

YES, AND THAT NAME IS PROBABLY "IDIOT". I EXPECT ONLY THE BEST AS THAT'S WHAT I EXPECT FROM MYSELF.

I am the gal who wants to get your name tattooed on her back just for irony/white trash sleaze factor sake. (But when we break up, it'll immediately be covered by Batman logo, because Batman is hot!)

i'm the girl who never forgets you.

THIS IS VERY WISE FOR YOU TO NEVER EVER FORGET...

I'm the girl who does not remember the name of everyone she's slept with, especially from when I was 23. Twenty-three was the year I went on a "I sleep only with men who can't speak English" spree.

i'm the girl who loves to end a hug with a kiss...

NOT ALWAYS I DON'T...

I'm the girl who loves to end with a shower. And then more sex.

i'm the girl who you can talk to you about anything...

THIS IS TRUE; BUT BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY, BECAUSE I'M ALSO THE GIRL WHO REACTS TO EVERYTHING AS WELL AND YOU MIGHT JUST NOT LIKE IT. I DON'T TAKE ANY SHIT.


You can talk to me about anything. Just don't expect us to stay together if you say something degrading or stupid.

i'm the girl who laughs at your jokes...

NOPE. IF THEY ARE STUPID, I DO NOT LAUGH. I WILL GIVE YOU AN HONEST CRITIQUE.

I love to laugh, but I hear I have a great withering look.

i'm the girl who will have many inside jokes with you and will remember each one...

DEPENDS ON WHO YOU ARE. IF YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I TRUST YOU AND LIKE YOU AND PERHAPS LOVE YOU, THEN YES. FEW GET INTO THAT INNER CIRCLE, RIGHT ABDUL?

If we don't make each other laugh, I will leave you.

i'm the girl who will brag about you to all of my friends...

HELL NO. I'M THE ONE WHO KEEPS YOU ALL TO MYSELF.

I'm the girl who brags about you to her friends...and brags about all her friends to you until you are afraid to meet them and all their superior coolness.

i'm the girl who will listen to you talk...

YES, I COLLECT DATA. AND IF I LOVE YOU, I WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE ENDLESSLY.

I'm with Cirese on this one.

i'm the girl who loves it when you hug me for no apparent reason...

DUH

Double Duh.

i'm the girl who loves it when you hug me from behind or kiss me on the forehead..

WITH PROPER IDENTIFICATION THAT IT IS YOU DOING THIS. OTHERWISE YOU MIGHT END UP FLAT ON YOUR BACK... WHICH, COME TO THINK OF IT IS JUST WHERE I MIGHT LIKE YOU TO BE.

This will not happen because of my past, I know to keep my back to the wall, and eyes on the door.

i'm the girl who loves you for you, and doesn't care what other people say about us...

NOT NECESSARILY. IF PEOPLE ARE GOING AROUND SAYING YOU ARE HAVE A PAST AS A SERIAL KILLER AND AN ARREST RECORD, I'M GOING TO LISTEN TO THEM NO MATTER THAT YOU CAN EXPLAIN THE BLOOD UNDER YOUR NAILS.

I have a backbone, but I know that sometimes other people are right.

i'm the girl who loves it when you introduce me to your friends as your girlfriend...

UM NO. THIS DEPENDS. AM I YOUR GIRLFRIEND? HAVE WE AGREED ON THIS BEFOREHAND? IF YOU JUST START INTRODUCING ME AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND I'M NOT. THERE WILL BE REPURCONCUCUSSIONS.

You better introduce me as your girlfriend; as soon as I feel shamed or hidden, I'm outta there.

i'm the girl who loves the feeling when you take me by the hand without saying a word...

THIS CAN BE NICE. THEN AGAIN, I'M THE GIRL WHO WILL TAKE 'YOU' BY THE HAND WITHOUT A WORD. HELL, I'LL EVEN TRY TO PICK YOU UP BODILY...

I like the hand holding, but I prefer the old-fashioned, Grace Kelly, my-hand-in-the crook of your-elbow routine.

----------------------
Below is a bunch of immature, self-righteous garbage.

SWEET HEARTED GIRLS : If you are this girl repost this saying "I'm this girl"

THIS SHOULD BE "I'M A CODEPENDENT GIRL"

DUDES: If you want this girl repost "I want this Girl"

THIS SHOULD BE "I WANT A CODEPENDENT GIRL"

LUCKY BASTARDS: repost "I have this girl"

THIS SHOULD BE "I WANT A CODEPENDENT GIRL"

UNLUCKY GUYS: "I had this girl, once. I want her back

THIS SHOULD BE "I NEED THERAPY, SO I CAN GET A HEALTHY GIRL"

----------------------------

....AND OF COURSE

GIRLS WITH HIGH SELF EXTREME: "I am OK by myself. But if I happen to meet the right person for me; wonderful. We'll see where it goes!"

The Ruthless Nympho Method/Success with Men Review.

"How to Succeed with Men" is actually a good book for women getting back into the singles scene and would like to find a steady boyfriend. This is not a book about getting married. (This is written by men--they wouldn't betray their kind so easily!)
As a Nympho, I only use the Ruthless Nympho method (which only work for chics who love sex, but hey, I'm just me here!)

The Ruthless Nympho method:
1. Go to a place that you enjoy, where a lot of men hang out. Hopefully, you won't know any of them.
2. While you flirt, use your gut instinct to decide if there is any possibility any one of them could be your best friend. Even if they seem shy or awkward. If so, give this guy the most amazing sex of his life as soon as possible. Yes, sex in public restrooms is ok, but only if they're clean. Tip: carry your own supply of your favorite condom.
3. Forget him. Repeat steps one and two. This may take a few tries, but its awfully fun.
4. When he finally tracks you down (and one of these guys will, even if he has to stalk you) get him totally addicted to sex with you, by fucking his brains out all the time.
5. After a few weeks the love hormones kick in (it's true, the New York magazine says so), and he will find the idea of your having sex with anyone else somewhere between repugnant and completely insane.
6. Complete. Enjoy your warm bed every night!

If you are not that shy and have some technical skill, this should only take you about a month, especially if you include some guys that you believe had a crush on you while you were attached.

If you are shy, but are fab in bed (you know this is true because you are always having a good time in bed), replace step one with online dating. You should find someone goooood in a month.

If you don't have any technical skill at all--sex is not fun, don't bother with this method, but do buy yourself a copy of "Our Bodies, Ourselves" and "The Joy of Sex," because you deserve to have all the fun in bed you can in this lifetime.

Guides to Getting Laid. Biblioscopes. Yeesh.

So, I write these things called Biblioscopes once a week on 23rd-mandalation and on myspace. I use books for divining the future for the coming week for all sun signs. I try to pick books no one would usually pick. Last week, I got "How to Have Success with Men" or some such nonsense, about how to get married. These books were bunk. I know how to get married. Did it twice, lived with one guy once who still thinks we are married, even though we never got married nor were even close (deranged).

Okay, so to balance the stupid "how to get married" book, I tried to find a "how to get laid" book, which, if you look at the archives, is how this all got started. There are no "how to get laid" books at the public library. I'm thinking I may have to buy one. So I went to Amazon. And I became very, very afraid, and very fascinated. First of all, none of the girls on the book covers look like me (of course). Which is scary, because I'm getting older, etc., etc. Actually, I never looked too much like those chics in the first place (too much personality in my face, never was skinny). Secondly, it makes me afraid, because I am kind of good looking, and I hate feeling like prey. It is freekin' scary if you ask me. And thirdly, which I think is my worst fear of all, is this: would any of these techniques work on me? I mean, I'm attached, so I'm out of the game. But if I weren't, would this crap work on me? I don't want them to. On the other hand, what does it mean about me if they don't? I told everyone I was going to write this, so whether I want to look into this book or not, I'm going to have to...

How to Succeed with Men

I am on my second beer this morning (see previous post). I got out “How to Succeed with Men” from the library because I thought it would be terribly funny for Biblioscopes, but on my way home from dropping my kid off with his dad, I started to wonder about it. Do these guys really know something I do not know? So I started reading. It is a very fast read. It is has so far been essentially a book of lists: 10 Step Master Plan, 8 Myths About Dating You Can’t Afford to Believe, Seven Steps of Creating Your Relationship Action Plan, etc., etc.

The section entitled “Charting Your Men” made me laugh so hard on the 5 train, everyone was staring at me.

To break it down, these guys think that success with men means getting married. And I do think that is mostly true about women. As the ones who are weakened by pregnancy, and end up raising the kids, I think it’s hard-wired into our systems to try to mate for life, just as it is hard-wired into the male system to propagate the species. But I also think that the things that get us past this disparity is what make us find our spirituality and our humanity. (uh-oh! Drinking! I’m getting philosophical!)

The guys who wrote this book are goal-oriented, and I think that their time-line is totally off. They talk about presenting a “commitment deal” after only four-months of solid, steady dating, and I wouldn’t dream of it before a year. They also think that you should “test” your dates for the qualities that you are looking for (patience, loyalty, etc.) whereas I use the ‘Blink’ method. ‘Blink’ was the book that said all decisions were so complex that you should make your decision on your gut instinct, from the first second you see the subject—in this case, a guy.

They put the kibosh on dating myths (or they just could’ve said man myths) like “All the good ones are married or gay; or “Men can’t handle a powerful woman.” They were mostly right, except for “Men have fragile egos” which to them is a variation on the “men are babies” theme. I personally think that both men and women are insecure in different ways. Men have a strong need to be #1 to their women. I don’t mean first. I mean best. Doubt me? Just have a talk about how you dated a millionaire a couple times or start talking about notches in bedposts. (If yours are more than his, and there will be, if you are a good looking woman, prepare for a lot of crabbing.) So, what does this mean? If you feel a strong need to be negative, put it in a positive light. Instead of, “you smoke too much,” it should be “I don’t want you to die. You are too important. I need you too much.” Think framing, ladies, framing! And if you don’t really want to bother doing this, remember that you make them behave a certain way around you (no staring at waitress’s breasts, whatever) and they deserve this too.

I will plow through the rest of this thing, even though I have a man. I am dying to see what they say about “How to Be Successful with Women” aren’t you?

Where the heck Suki has been.

It’s almost 8am, and I still can’t get back to sleep. I have no milk to increase my serotonin level (which leads to comfort and sleep) so I am drinking a beer. Sue me. I was up so late last night that to me, its not even morning yet. It’s still the middle of the night.

I have been on myspace, on an international myfriend-finding tour.(Myfriend is a term I like to distinguish between friends on myspace and actual friends, because on my friend-finding tour I have learned that some people think their myfriends should only be their actual real-life, non-electronic friends, and other people think their myfriends are people they have fukt or will fuk.) I went from having a couple subscribers to my blog (who I knew personally) and a couple of local myfriends to having almost 70 friends from around the world, and fourteen blog subscribers. I’ve been searching for friends in a broad age group—30 to 55—who either work in publishing or practice wicca. For some reason I get along with both, so that’s how I ran my searches. One of my myfriends lives in Iceland, and is quite the sexy, witty writer. Another is a tattoo artist and fire swallower in England, and I saw the coolest fire-dancing videos on one of his myfriends sites.

I think I actually started having fun on myspace after making about 50 friends, and joining a few groups. I write on the New We Hate Staten Island Group In my last topic,I mentioned the last place I had had public sex on the island, and asked others for their experiences. I am learning a lot about my new home this way: men answered nearly exclusively, because everyone is so Catholic on this rock. By the way, my new Staten Island sex fantasy involves having sex in the fog. Staten Island is quite the foggy place some mornings. I better have my boyfriend on-call. I write a more personal blog over there. It is nice to have “a place to rest on the page.”

So, I reverse my review from January. Join myspace. Make lots of friends (use the search and browse functions), join lots of groups, and hang out.

Suki plays by herself

In my effort to enjoy the weekend (seeing as my kid and boyfriend were out of town) I found myself staring at a gaggle of twenty-somethings at the Side Street Salloon. It was a cluster of about three males telling terrible jokes around every female who was primping her hair.

I left the bar, thinking, well, might as well go home. And then I realized the boat was right there. I hopped on the 10pm boat to the city, and over to one of my favorite bars. Yes, by myself. Going by yourself is great, because you can leave whenever you want. And if you act crazy, no one who knows your social circle can report it.


The wonderful decor at the bar extends even to the ladies room, where a sign by the toilet begins "Not even Noah's Ark will save you from the flood that will occur if you..."

I saw my first speed wave band there. Speed wave? Well, remember New Wave? with drum machines and synthesizers? But this was played ten times faster, with a rawkin' drummer, who played drums along with the drum machine and a bass player who jumped around alternating between bass and the synth. FAN-TASTIC. Yes, I bought a t-shirt and hat. They had ray guns on them. How could I be working for 23rd Mandalation and not buy them?

I also danced my ass off to The Rants who had both a wicked sense of humor and a wicked groove. They played every version of "GLORIA". It lasted 15 minutes, until the guitarist was sick of it, and just leaned his guitar against his speaker for feed back, and the bass player and I both collapsed on the floor, begging the singer to stop.

Yes, I got home at 3:30. What a great time.

Head Games

I think everyone can agree that the sexual life of long term relationships goes through certain stages: lust/chemistry, intimacy, habit/boredom/just-getting-off. Of course, there will always be especially hot nights during the last phase, and bad (physique/performance anxiety or just plain awkwardness) nights in the beginning.

But if someone especially loves sex, and wants to really enjoy steamy nights for the rest of their lives, they will go for someone smarter, rather than "hotter." Not that smart people can't be hot, but usually they spend more time reading than body building, and that makes for a certain physique.

My reasoning is simple, and simply this: 75% of enjoyment of sex is in your head, and in your head only. And I'm not talking about Brangelina fantasies. I'm talking about sensitivity, imagination, and open-mindedness. These are the qualities in a person that can make great sex go on forever, and always seem different.

Sensitivity stems from the other person being able to see and understand your signals and moods. Yes, it takes time, and caring. But it also takes some intelligence to digest all that information that you are dishing out with body-language--or even just what you are trying to express.

Imagination and open-mindedness are more closely linked, and I think obvious. Thinking of new positions, locations (along with the sensitivity to feel the difference) and attempts to try them out will always keep things fresh. But there is also the psychological side of sex to explore: mild kink or fantasy or restraint or "games." And when I'm talking about games I don't mean how long to wait before calling, but games of touching and blindfolds, mild restraint games can add new aspects to the whole experience.

And this is why I say give the guy or gal with the glasses and book a try. Instead of fun for a month, maybe fun for a long, long time.

Masked Sex--A Dangerous Game?

One of the things I have not done yet is have sex in a domino mask with a masked partner. The reason I am thinking about domino masks is that they de-individuate each person, rather than, say, a mask of something, which people once wore to channel the spirit of that being (joy, sickness, sorrow, the spirit of the oxen, whatever)into themselves.

In the link above, they note that de-individuation through masks invites baser behavior (like taking more candy) and as a sexual animist (I got in trouble with my boyfriend for biting the other day) I wonder what my baser behavior would be. I wonder what my lover's would be. I wonder what we would become together.

I suppose some mild psycho-active drugging would probably be needed for full effect (light drinking, very mild drugs) and some extra time and mirrors to get used to seeing our new non-identities.

If anyone's tried this--or other experiences with masks, please comment or write to me.

Personals in Sri Lanka

Check the above link.

I just couldn't believe it, it's true: they use classified ads to find their daughters husbands. Listings of dowry in the ads.

Holy crap.

Your Pussy Looks Fine!!!

In the Monday Ad' vance was an article called "Like a Virgin" (click above title)about women having reconstructive surgery on their pussies. Some sounded like it was called for: so big after 10 kids, wanted to feel cock again. Fine.

Others wanted their hymen restored. Once you fuck--that's it, kids. Having surgery down will not get your purity back. I mean, are these chics going to lie to their boyfriends? Is it worth that kind of money?

And how about the women who just want their pussies to look better? I'm just speechless. I suppose, if they are going to be in porn mags, that's one thing...but how much of that really goes on? I have never heard one guy talking to his friends say, "I got down to that pussy, and it was one ugly dawg, yo!" If you have ever seen pussy so ugly it needed a nose-job, please feel free to comment. I could be wrong. I would want to know.

Pro-Choice/Pro-Life Response to Doc-T

So, my co-blogger wrote this opinion piece on the pro-life/pro-choice issue based upon whether the fetus is alive or not. Which, of course the fetus is alive. But I think the mistake is looking at the "potentiality" of this life. People say, this baby could have been a genius, a doctor, a good person, etc., etc.

But being that this baby will not be wanted by its genetic parent, the potential is actually greater that this baby will grow up to be a drug addict, drunk driver, a murderer, a bringer of misery to the rest of us on this planet.

Really. Think about it. Most people who are plagues upon the rest of us blame their parents, who didn't really want them, who saw them as burdens, who treated them like crap.

I'm not supporting abortion. I couldn't hurt a fly. Okay, I can kill a fish, but if we had no supermarkets, that's the only meat I would eat. But I think that we need an abortion policy that acknowledges what the baby is...at that moment, and gives the mom a chance to decide to go through with the pregnancy (which was a really shitty experience for me, and my baby and I almost died in child birth, thanks). That's why I say that when the fetus is more bug-like, (first trimester) abortions should be granted, no questions asked. After that, though...I personally disagree with it.

That being said, the shame factor would make mothers risk their lives with amateur abortion attempts with clothes-hangers, etc., just like they used to. I think that's the main reason that abortion was legalized in the first place. The motel help was tired of cleaning up after amateur abortion messes. And teenage girls were dying a few days later.

Maybe what we should be doing for girls who want late-term abortions is having anonymous birthing clinics. These teenaged kids could go in and give birth and these babies would be immediately put up for adoption, no questions asked.

CNN Says SLACK OFF!

As much as I wish having sex and taking care of a good kid were the only things I did, they are not. I must also go to work--which takes over an hour each way--and then be at work for 8 whole hours. But research now shows that working our asses off all the frigging time does not an effective workplace make. More here.

Back to Sex: the Dress Every Woman Should Have

No, not the little black. Little black has little imagination as well. The dress that every woman should have is the shirt dress that buttons down from neck line to knee. Yes, it should go that long, and be made of a soft material, like jersey.

Not only is it very versatile (wear it to work buttoned up, and unbutton a few extra buttons for a hot date) but for that really special man, it can be an ultra hot sex garment. If he doesn't tell you after dinner he's been fantasizing about unbuttoning you the whole time (they do dig buttons) then before you get to bed, just unbutton down to your bra, and up to your panties. What can I say...this look adds kink, and if you're feeling chubby, hides flaws in an unselfconscious way.

Yes, I did have a great weekend. How could you tell?

Parenthood 3: Why isn't this fun yet?

I'm not going to lie. Parenthood isn't all introducing your kid to Captain Marvel and Pac-Man and making snow angels. Those are fantastic moments, and in my opinion, balance out the dirty diapers, the toilet-training, and the tantrums which a lot of people have a lot of anxiety about. When you think about those tough moments, you may want to keep some things in mind:

1. When your kid is having a tantrum, or acting crazy, a big stressor is "What'll other people think! Oh no! My kid is being loud and annoying people! They think I'm a bad parent! They're getting pissed." Actually, A LOT of people have kids, or little nieces and nephs, so more people will be more sympathetic than you think. Also, people who aren't understanding are just jerks. Really. Because even if they aren't parents, hopefully they can remember being kids themselves, and cranky or whatever, and sympathize with your kid..

2. The whole nasty diaper/potty training experience is relatively short in the entirety of your relationship with your kid. I mean, it only lasts about 3 1/2 years at most, and hopefully your relationship with your child will last a good 50 years. If your relationship lasts that long, maybe they will be helping you with your old-age incontinence (karma in action!!!).

3.Everybody has a "favorite age." Some people like widdle babies. Some toddlers, elementary school kids, or teens. Kids grow and change fast! Most moms (but not me) like the younger ages better. But most men like late elementary and teenagers better, because they are more interested in the outside worlds and careers. So, if things are tough right now, wait five minutes.

Parenting Part Deux

While I have never heard a real adult say that having a child ruined his life--I have heard people say that divorce does, especially if there are children involved. Even if your spouse doesn't take you for all your worth through alimony and child support, you will have to deal with that person until your kids 'r done raised, and every big event in your kids' lives thereafter. Plus there is the guilt factor. I personally feel guilty that I wasn't strong enough to stay with my ex-. So guilty that I didn't even think about taking what's rightfully mine (my own stuff). I basically started out again with nothing.

And being a single parent is tough. There never seems to be enough money, and you are the only one doing the cooking, cleaning, etc. You are tired all the time. Even if you don't have custody, you have the burden of paying out every month without the pleasure of having your kids about.

Seeing as 50% of marriages end in divorce, I can't say that there is any one sure thing you can do to protect yourself, except to make sure that your spouse is sane and not addicted to anything from the get-go, and that you have the same ideas about how money should be spent (not sure you're in complete agreement? To check and make sure, look at any reference titles they may own. If they want to spend money on houses, there will be books on that. Vacations, travel books. And so on).

As soon as the word "commitment" is used, the relationship is over. Commitment is about "hanging in" and not hanging out. And we need someone we can hang out with on this journey. So, I guess that's the moral of part two: if you can find someone to hang out with, the kid-thing is a non-issue.

I have to say that being divorced is not without its fringe benefits: while married couples fight to find time and energy for sex, on the weekends my kid stays with his dad who he loves, while I get to have fabu-sex with the man I love. Talk about win-win. That's win-win-win.

Next: Parenting, Part Three: How come this isn't fun yet?

Parenthood Pt. 1

Some men in their 30's have asked me about parenthood. They seem to think I'm a good person to ask, not only because I'm in my 30's and still love to go out and party, but also because I'm not one of those cutsie moms, who lives for that parental role.

First of all, let me say that I have never heard any man or woman over the age of 25, who was even meagerly established their careers, say that having a kid or two ruined their lives. It's a completely different life from being able to come and go as you please, yes. But it's not painful or bad or terrible (except for that giving birth part). In fact, if you can stand a little cheesy visual here, having a kid makes you feel like there's a new light on in your heart, and you never want it to go out.

Also, knowing that your kid is looking up to you, you may find the strength to do more for your career, be a better person all around, become grounded in a meaningful community, and grow as a person in general. More later.

Could ignorance be bliss?

Today my boss tries to look up her dentist in the yellow pages, and ends up in E for "Escorts" instead. "They can put this stuff in the phone book!?!" she exclaimed. "Isn'tit illegal?!?"

"Only if they offer sex." I replied.

"Well, what is this then? This one offers role play. What's that?"

All these images of being tied up with leather thongs came into my head. I sighed and said, "I don't know."

If she only knew that you can call one of those services outside of Disney, and order up Sleeping Beauty. Or Belle. I wish I didn't.

Happy St. BJ's Day!!!

For those of you who don't know, today was St. BJ's day, Feb. 12. St. BJ's is sort of the male version of St. Valentine's Day. Ladies, you can do this tomorrow still--St. BJ's isn't a well-publicized holiday yet. Here's what you do:

Put on your sexiest high heels and tight jeans or a pretty dress.
Make your guy a steak and potatoes meal (or his favorite meal), yes, while you wear high heels.
After dinner (and after, or possibly during) hockey, Olympics, basketball or whatever, get on your knees and give him a good, wet, cheek-enhollowing blowjob, until he comes.

Now, you may find this sexist, but St. BJ's day will definitely ensure a fantastic Valentine's Day. Believe me, you won't get dinner at a chain restaurant or heart-shaped sponges or a vaccuum cleaner after that.

sex on sight.

The first thing I do when my boyfriend comes over is kiss him, and drag him to the bedroom. Sometimes we're so excited about getting our jeans off, we forget to take our shoes off first.

I recommend this highly. One good reason to have sex with your guy when he first comes over, is that horny men can say and do stupid things. That's a real turn-off for me...

Another good reason is to let off some steam yourself. Are you really going to spend your entire time just thinking about getting into bed the whole time? Or worse, not thinking about that, and getting cranky because you are just so damn horny?

The best reason is this: Sex on sight is just so plain hot. You've been waiting for this for a while, just letting loose as soon as you see each other leads some real earth shaking.

Review of MySpace

The good thing about my space is that if you want to do more than blog, if you want to meet and network with people without reading random blog after random blog, you can do so. You can browse for "friends": people in whatever demographic/area/age etc. You can join blog groups and subscribe to blogs,without "blogrolling" etc.
You can look for people on blogger with the same interests as yourself by clicking on different words in your profile. However, I have never found anyone on blogger with the same interests as me listed--at least not in the same way.
I also like the counter on myspace: you can see how many people looked at your blog each day, week, etc. And other myspace members can subscribe to it.
Myspace also has craigslist style classifieds.
What I really don't like about it is that only myspace members can comment. It's common practice these days. They say its to control spam, I say its to get more members. Also, the thing is riddled with constant ads. I know I have one on my blog now, but its nothing compared to myspace. They flicker, too. It makes me want to have a "seizure" and "accidentally" destroy my computer.
Will I come back to love-suki? Maybe. The myspace people are kind of young, and don't all blog, and I don't get comments from non-myspacers, which is kinda annoying.