Book Review: The System: How To Get Laid TODAY!

Okay, I will admit I was offended by the title: even hot chicks are more than just pieces of meat, you know. But then I was fascinated. Would this be about lies, tricks? Does this man know some core secret about women that even I do not know? But I squared my shoulders, opened the book, and found out that it is the Goddess's gift to men and women. All of us.

Think about this: every one, man or woman, just wants to get laid every once in a while, and this book is about getting those people together. So whether you are suffering from severe horniness, or suffering from your friend's severe horniness,it helps YOU. First of all, it teaches men how to scan for women who are horny at that instant (so they stay away from the rest of us) and teaches them the cues that women use to indicate interest/noninterest. Because face it, if there is anything more annoying than a guy hounding you all night, it's throwing yourself at a man all night only to learn later that he was into you too, but just had the blinders on for whatever reason. Men who read this book learn to pick up the cues faster, or move on faster. Yippee! Whotta gift!

The other thing this book teaches is for men to take control of the situation sooner, rather than later. Not every "good girl" feels like being "good" all the time. While Mr. Valentine has the gist of women, he doesn't seem to have all of the psychology down--and I'm kind of glad, because I wouldn't want him to know all of our secrets. But for an example, he seems to think that women look for men all the time because of some kind of conscious "game" they are playing, but really, it's because Cosmo or one of the other magazines runs an article every six months reminding us to look for men at the laundromat, or whatever, and supplies us a pick up line or two.

My favorite phrase in the book is "guaranteed panty dropper" and the book includes "Guaranteed Panty Dropping Recipes." I think it should be a sequal, or a cooking show. While I think it is very true that cooking for a woman REALLY REALLY helps, I have heard cooking horror stories from some of my male friends (which involved slaving over a hot stove all day), so I hesitate to use the word "guaranteed."

I think this book is a dandy read--men should pick it up just for the sections about body language and making a woman feel comfortable, even if they do not feel the need to get laid TODAY. Women should read it just for a clear idea of what they are up against (for instance, I didn't know that some men needed to be told not to spank me before we had sex. But apparently some men do. Desperately). But it is also bald in spots. It misses out on meeting intelligent women--we do get the itch too, y'know-- which requires more dialogue on current affairs, or outside interests, rather than just nodding while she talks and asking her about herself. Intelligent women are bored with themselves, but if they share your interests (like you meet them at the opera) they can be easier to talk to/listen to.

It also misses out on the technical--especially in the "How to Be an International Player" section. Okay, stop laughing or sneering: this is actually a section about maintaining casual relationships with women after the first encounter. He does write about treating women well, including being truthful and giving multiple orgasms and adding a little mystery. Aside: I did feel a little offended when I first started reading this chapter, but then I had to ask myself if I would advise women to sleep around while hunting for "the One" and I absolutely would--if for no other reasons than keeping perspective--and a strong ego-- when one guy turns out to be a married, another an alkie, another an international player, and finally, a nice, shy one that turns out to be a good guy. And then I didn't feel offended anymore. Like I said, there's little in the way of technical information: it mentions giving us multiple orgasms, but doesn't give any information on how to add stamina or cunninlingus methods. He also mentions leaving women wanting more--which, frankly, leaves me kicking the man's ass out the door while I call an old "friend" who can satisfy. Fortunately, that is what you all have myself and El Buncho for.

If you are single, buy this book!!! (Right now, I am selling my own for $15.00, incl. shipping in U.S.A., just to make back my losses on this and my biblioscopes. My copy is new. Email me at stephanier10301@yahoo.com. All love, no judgments.--Suki.)