Tips on Getting Laid for the Shy, Part 2: Going Out By Yourself

So, have you started going out yet? Joined a few clubs? Yes, I said a few. If you really want to meet people, you have to go out a few times a week, doing different things.

No? You haven't? When am I going to start talking about internet dating because you just want to stay in front of your computer anyway?

I hate to break it to you, but even if you meet someone online, you will still have to meet them in person eventually, and the situation will just be a little weirder. Also, it may bring up the other pain-in-the-ass situation of long-distance romance.

Personal story interlude:
When I first came to the city when I was 18, I never went out for the pick up scene or to see bands or anything. I had no idea about any of that stuff. Until I turned "cool" when I was 16, I basically stayed home, studied the Tarot, read Larry Niven and David Eddings, and watched Ray Harryhausen flicks.
I had boyfriends and stuff, but it was not something I had to look for--just guys I met at my internship, or while visiting friends in college.
When I was out of school and out of a boyfriend at 22, I realized I would have to face the pickup scene, and I was terrified. At first, I only had the guts to walk near the bar. I would just walk by, pause for a second, and then walk to the bookstore. This went on for a few weeks before someone told me about a good band playing, and I went to see them. After that, I was still nervous about going out for a few weeks, but finally, I became addicted to the whole Lower East Side band scene, and had to go out 3 or 4 times a week. I made friends with musicians in a lot of different bands, started picking up guys I saw at the shows (man, I was such a lech), and having a great time. I am still friends with some of those people from 12 years ago. It was one of the best things I ever did.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it will be hard at first, but you have to make yourself go... whatever that takes. Promise to give yourself a treat for going out, or pray or call your friends or whatever it takes...but don't go out with expectations--not only will you be disappointed but you will proably miss out on other interesting and important things going on around you. You'll have good nights and bad ones, and a lot of good stories. And the more you go out the easier it will be.