A How-We-Met Story

>>>This is how Drongo and I met, about one year ago this week. I was scanning cl personals, and they all said the same thing, "Great body, work out 3 days a week. Professional. Read, movies, watch TV," blahblah blah. I remember when personals were interesting, you couldn't attach a photo, and fun to read. Angry about the lost art, I wrote the following, not thinking I'd ever actually meet anyone:

38DD seeks Smart-Alecky Media-Savvy Squeeze (33)

The first thing I want to know is, if all of you are so good looking, why aren’t you out at a bar getting laid?

Also, I have a two year old boy, and he is my first priority. If you can’t handle that, don’t bother reading on.

Me: I’m 33, 5'4", 38DD, bleached blond/rock n’ roll hair, green eyes, pale. I’m a size 12, which means I am half way between real skinny and a big house. If you like roller blading, wind surfing, and sports, I’m not the gal for you. I’m pretty mellow about most things, but fairly serious about my feng shui. Sure, you can stay out all night with the guys, but don’t you dare move my candles! I like sex a lot and often, and enjoy some fantasy, after we get to know eachother a bit.

You: Energetic, Taller than 5’ 7”, and no bigger than Jack Black. If you are balding, I only like buzzed heads (and if you don’t know why this is, write to me, and I will tell you).

What we do together: See bands! I like seeing rockabilly and punk bands. I’m a big fan of Simon and the Bar Sinisters, Barbecue Bob and the Spare Ribs, and Ween. Watch movies! I love psychotronics, weird movies, B movies, and action flicks.

This is very different ad from the others I have seen on this site. Am I asking for too much?


Drongo's response:

Drongo Zone wrote:
Hi
I think you are a realist. I think most women on CL split hairs and are too specific in their unrealistic "wants." I understand the kid thing (I've got 2), but I hate when they say "You MUST love dogs. You MUST love MY dog." For chrissakes, I'm taking YOU out, not some dang critter.

Anyway, I do like your ad. Here, glom this about me: This native new yorker complete with an accent deals in words--I write, but bring home the bacon by being a big-shot editorial manager at a big-time Wall St financial info firm. I'm the "energy" guy, so if you ever need to know about "POWER" or "MEGAWATTAGE," then, I am your man. I love movies but don't go much. And not your usual Hollywood crap either. The other night I watched this weird Chinese one about Mongols returning from defeat at the hands of the Russians. It involved a gypsy woman and her perfoming monkey/confidant, and this Mongol on a horse who slew dozens of pursuers by throwing these sharp things that cut off their heads or took a leg off a horse. Right up your alley, no?

Sex early and often is a good thing. The fantasy thing is something I have enjoyed in the past. Not only do you explode into outer space via the sexual energy, you can get out of yourself for a bit too. I dig ethnic dining, nature, my blogs. I get on a bike and ride it sometimes. I sing the rock & roll music.

I sometimes host a Scratchy Record Party at my local where i play 45s from the 50s through the 80s. Real rock & roll--not "oldies". I listen to tribal sounds from around the world. I am an amateur anthropologist and amateur criminologist. I collect books on strange and unusual subjects and can spend half a day poking around a used book store. I'm smart and I know a lot of things, as well. I read all the effin' time, from The New Yorker and the Wall Street Journal to hard-boiled crime fiction. I write about weird people getting into weird situations and have even tackled the eeeeeeerotic-a. Lemmee know if you want to read a short short story I wrote about tattoos and feng shui gone all awry--take you 5 minutes to read. I'm a "young" 45, long-haired at the moment, slim, green eyed 5'10" 160, bespectacled. Oh yeah--they say say I have a nice bum. haha. I have some old pics--lemmme know if you want to see the "biker" pic or the "tourist on a Greek island" pic.
Later you
John

>>>I read his response outloud to my roomie, where I translated "scratchy record party" into "I am a Bob Seger fan" and thought that he was actually a janitor in one of the big buildings downtown with a column in the monthly co. newsletter. When actually, he's a serious rockabilly/punk guy, rock n' roll historian, and really is an editor somewhere downtown. haha me.

My response:

Drongo--
You have such great energy.
I want to see that Chinese movie so badly now. The last silly thing I saw was "The Conqueror" with the "Duke" playing Genghis Khan, with that same ol' John Wayne intonation. In an interview, Wayne said he saw Khan as a cowboy. . . Oh, lord.
I don't get the dog thing, either. It used to be everyone had to tolerate my straight transvestite friend/roomie Charles, but Kodiak trumps Charles by a longshot now.
Out of 30 emails, I got 3 angry responses to my ad, one upset I mentioned my cup size, one thot I asked for too much, and one angry because I'm "aggressive"
I think they must be repressed.
--Suki

>>>Anyways, I didn't really expect to be into this dude too much, and as part of his coolness test, I asked him to meet me on the L.E.S. at 12:30 am (when I got off work). He did! I was completely swept off my feet after we walked around for a while and we were talking about Steve Ditko he said (backlit, head tilted slightly up, smoking a cigarette) "Marvel stock is shit." When we were making out in front of my door at 4am, I started talking dirty to him in his ear. He put his mouth against my ear and said, "I want you to cunt me."

I went upstairs, and said to my roomie, "I just went out with straight Alan Ginsburg."

grrrr...to this day.