30 Tough Cookies

This morning, my son was telling me that his dad was acting "not nice" during his last visit. He said he called his mother "old," and then walked out of the room and slammed the door.

I told my son that his dad was in a bad mood because he had just turned thirty. That he wasn't really young anymore. And "when you're young and you don't like where you're at, you have the excuse that you're young. But when you reach a certain age, you don't have that excuse anymore and have to take responsibility, and that's..." I paused. I didn't know where to go from there.

And my kid finished my sentence for me: "That's just tough cookies, isn't it mommy?"

What a kid.

People Still Love Britney

Yesterday I was having my Sunday afternoon beer, sitting next to some reasonably attractive 40-year-old men, one clean-cut, the other like a teddy bear. Clean-cut was looking at the paper, which had a picture of flabby-tummy, bald Britney.

Me: I like Britney now.

Teddy Bear: Crazy Britney?

Me: I guess. She has more character now.

Clean-cut: Yeah, I wanna fuck her now.

Teddy Bear: Me too. She was just a cliche before. Now I want to bang her in a cheap motel room with a bottle of Wild Turkey.

Clean-cut: No, with Rum and Peptol.

Now, you see, ladies. You don't need a huge head of hair and a flat tummy to be a hottie. You don't even need to seem sane. So just let it all hang out.

Big on Small Town News

Sometimes I look at newspapers from around the country--not the big ones. Today I looked at the Lexington Clipper Herald (of Nebraska). One of the top news stories was that:

Lex and Cozad men inducted into Cattlemen's Hall of Fame:

My favorite quote from that was:
...Some people have gone so far to say Joe is a character, noted Chris Hagedone, Dawson County Cattlemens president...

My gawd! A character?

But if you want to really know what this place is about, check out this fine young man who won a wrestling championship:



Is the smile beatific or insane? What is he thinking?

I don't want you to think I'm making fun. I'm fascinated. This is a life completely different from mine, which, if you want to look at my local news, click here.

Fun with Corsets

For Valentine's Day, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted me to get--for me to wear--white and satiny, red lace, black and leathery. And he said black and leathery. Although I was disappointed at first (I had hoped he would want more romantic than whore), I didn't say anything. After a few days I felt better about it and started hunting for something black and leathery I could afford. I can tell you, it wasn't much. Thigh-high black patent leather boots went for $80 at the porn shop near my house. And really, I wanted more "bang" for my buck.

So I went shopping online. A lot of the prices were similar. What I really wanted was a corset--the kind that lace up in the front and back. And my boobs are big, so it'd need to be cupless. But after looking at a few sites I found the price was around $120. Finally I googled "sexy shoes" and found snaz75.com. I found the $80 boots from my corner store for $40, and just looked at their corset page with little hope and found a red and black patent leather number for $40. I bought them both. The company expedited the shipping, and I got them in 4 business days.

Everything was the right size, in good shape, etc. The day came, and I wanted to just slip on the corset and zip it up when I saw him later--which left me to trying to fit the corset all by myself. I had to untie the back, pull the laces looser, try it on again, and then tighter, put it on again. I think I did that about 4 times before it fit right.

All of my effort paid off: I was really glad to have bought that black leathery stuff. We were both really turned on, and very sweaty--all that patent leather can do that. And I got to hear the words all women want to hear:
I've been looking for you all my life.

Thinking Too Hard About Girls Gone Wild.

Almost every night, I watch some CSI reruns on Spike TV, and almost every morning I wake up to a snatch of very, very long commercial of "Girls Gone Wild" and I cringe a little before changing the channel.

And I'm not the kind of girl who cringes at these kinds of things--I've clocked in enough hours watching porn to have had favorite actresses, actors and directors. At one point, when I was 20, I tried to get my boyfriend (29) to be in a Dirty Debutante movie with me. (He wouldn't do it--and he was the one who got me into porn in the first place!) I even met the director and everything.

On the other hand, I did tell my present boyfriend that if I ever found one of those in his possession, I'd break up with him. Like that.

So, what is so wrong with GGW? Is it just because I'm getting older? mmmm, no.The boyfriend thought I was upset that these young, drunk chicks would be taken advantage of. I mulled that over, and that, while noble, is not it.

I look at the suzy-Q chics that they choose, and their giggly faces, and I can just tell that they are the kind of girls who were cheerleaders in high school, who teased but never did it (or pretended that they never did), who do not in a certain way, take the needs of others or their own boundaries very seriously. Example: If these 18-year-olds thought of the fat, hairy men who were wanking off to this stuff, they'd be grossed out.

Some people have accused me of never being a virgin. That isn't true of course. I was as big a fantasy-fangirl as you could find with a bad perm and large glasses with horn-rimmed frames. I liked unicorns and jingling purses. But after my first boyfriend or two...I guess I just kind of skipped over that sweet-sixteen stage somehow, and went straight to Sex-In-The-City. So maybe I just don't understand the GGW/tit-flashing gals.

Or maybe, I just like my smut...smutty.

Why the Heck I Haven't Been Writing

Since 1/11, my boyfriend's sister-in-law died, leaving 2 kids in their early 20's, and one in his mid-teens. She had lung cancer, and I logged in a few hours on her deathbed, even though I had only met her briefly, twice. This roused a little argument with my boyfriend at first. He thought I didn't want to go to visit her in her last hours, just because it wouldn't be "fun." I was just uncomfortable at first because I didn't know her and she didn't know me and I thought it would be very...strange and uncomfortable for her and her kids if I came by. But soon I realized that he, being a smoker, needed me there. And so I went, weirdness be damned. The hospital room was darkened. TV was on, and the boyfriend's sister was taking care of all the details, forgetting where she left her pocketbook in the process.

I have run into this problem at times with boyfriends, especially if they don't move in with me soon enough: they think that because I like to have fun, that's what I want and expect all the time. It's not true. When it's time to have fun, I want to have as much as I can. When it's time for other things, I'm ready for all that too.

I've also been recovering from a visit to my parents' house. My mother's old age is not her mother's. My grandmother lived alone without animals in a nice city house, and did fun errands during the week and went shopping with my uncle on the weekends. She watched a lot of tv. This went on for about 25 years. Now she is having dementia, and still spends a lot of time in front of the tv. The difference between her old age, and my mother's, is that my mom spends her time driving between the South Shore and North Shore of Massachusetts, running back and forth, taking care of my aging dad (in the past 6 mo. diagnosed with diabetes, heart disease and skin cancer), and her mother. The whole thing makes me so depressed, I basically cry for a month after I come back from there.

I think, for a while, I forgot I had any of my 3 blogs, but I'm glad to be back.

The Tiny Population

At my work email box, I received one with the subject line: Why so small weenie? [sic]
And it went like this:

Greet man

I don't care why your meat is so small, but 70% of women do.
They are pretty sure that bigger member will make their desire
stronger. You have the chance to change your life.

Here http://xzslhg.com you can get the thing.

It will help you for sure.
The remedy can be sent worldwide.
If you wont be satisfied - we will return all you money.
No bullshit.

In a way, I feel bad for men. They have a lot of their ego put into something that may or may not work. Or only works when the chemistry is right. Later on in life, they are pretty sure it will stop working most of the time. You could say that women have a similar problem--with breast size or physical appearance in general. But if we feel bad enough to need breast implants, we know that if we buy them, they really will work--the breast size really will increase. Whatever tiger penis shavings they're selling at xzslhg.com probably won't.

I've heard there are men out there who just have tiny (smaller than 3.5")penises. I've never encountered any. They must be a minute portion of the population. What happens to those guys, I wonder.

An End to the Death Penalty

America is at an all time low for executions. Great. But we are still wasting tons of money on judges, lawyers, executioners, etc. I don't think people who are in for horrible crimes are worth my tax dollars. I have a new solution: the re-institution of slavery. I'm not talking about horrible, horrible spirit-killing stuff. Just to make the people in jail to work as hard as our grandparents and great-grandparents worked. For no pay. (Just like the immigrant great grandparents.)
I mean, wouldn't it just take the coolness out of jail if no one had the time to work out, etc., but instead had to work as farmers and as shoe-factory employees for fifteen hours a day for the rest of their lives? And if you misbehave, you get worse: cleaning bathrooms, sewers, etc. Everyone should be too tired to even consider rape.
I suppose if the system worked well enough, it could pay for itself--or even pay America back for the money we've already wasted.

35 till I'm 85.

At 35, I've finally started to see a couple of smile lines around my mouth, and said that's enough already. I want to look 35 until I'm 80. I looked on the Dr. Denese web site--her stuff is supposed to be the best: the highest concentration of vitamins, etc. Her stuff is also complicated. There's a list a mile long, with no pre-made "packs" for people in their 30's, 40's, 70's, whatever. Each product is also at least $30. Then I went looking on Q&A boards. Intelligent people seemed to be talking about going DIY, but they didn't site sources of info. With my skills at chemistry DIY, I'd probably end up making LSD instead of anti-oxident cream.

I chronicled this problem to my friend Donna, and she sent me an uncomplicated, but complete answer:

Hi Suki!
Ah...the lines and their prevention issue. You have mentioned this to the right person. My skin has been a small (read:huge) obsession since I was oh, eleven.
I have tried many products for many things (anti-acne, anti-wrinkle, line prevention, pore minimizers).
Consumer Reports came out with a big study the other day saying a lot of stuff out there, especially the expensive stuff, doesn't do a lot BUT did say the best stuff out there is the Olay Regenerist line.
I've used that- go for the serum and/or the cream, but forget the "lotion". I used something else recently that purported to impart "glow" and I WAS glowy; I ran out and intend to get more although I can't remember the name of the product. 99% sure it was Olay something but I'll know it when I see it in the store.
The general consensus among magazine articles interviewing dermatologists is that you want something with either retinol or Vitamin C for prevention. Retinol can be a little irritating at first and you need to use sunblock every day because it makes your skin more sensitive to sunlight.
Actually THAT's the number 1 prevention item right there : SUNBLOCK.
So, on the basis of my vast experience with many products and ridiculously expensive quest for good skin, I believe in serious (35-50 SPF) but cheap sunblock slathered on in the morning and some kind of retinol/Vitamin C serum topped with a moisturizer cream at night.
Oh, and also note that most line minimizers take about 6-8 weeks of use to see a difference, so don't give up if whatever you try doesn't seem to do much right away.