Head Games

I think everyone can agree that the sexual life of long term relationships goes through certain stages: lust/chemistry, intimacy, habit/boredom/just-getting-off. Of course, there will always be especially hot nights during the last phase, and bad (physique/performance anxiety or just plain awkwardness) nights in the beginning.

But if someone especially loves sex, and wants to really enjoy steamy nights for the rest of their lives, they will go for someone smarter, rather than "hotter." Not that smart people can't be hot, but usually they spend more time reading than body building, and that makes for a certain physique.

My reasoning is simple, and simply this: 75% of enjoyment of sex is in your head, and in your head only. And I'm not talking about Brangelina fantasies. I'm talking about sensitivity, imagination, and open-mindedness. These are the qualities in a person that can make great sex go on forever, and always seem different.

Sensitivity stems from the other person being able to see and understand your signals and moods. Yes, it takes time, and caring. But it also takes some intelligence to digest all that information that you are dishing out with body-language--or even just what you are trying to express.

Imagination and open-mindedness are more closely linked, and I think obvious. Thinking of new positions, locations (along with the sensitivity to feel the difference) and attempts to try them out will always keep things fresh. But there is also the psychological side of sex to explore: mild kink or fantasy or restraint or "games." And when I'm talking about games I don't mean how long to wait before calling, but games of touching and blindfolds, mild restraint games can add new aspects to the whole experience.

And this is why I say give the guy or gal with the glasses and book a try. Instead of fun for a month, maybe fun for a long, long time.