ToGL Help!!! People Are Answering My Personal Ad!!!

I also spent time causing mischief last week, instead of writing in my blog. My friend Niki, who I know from my daily ferry ride, posted what she would write for a personal ad as a comment (see how to write a personal ad below). Of course, I added a short physical description, and a title “Looking for a few nice dates before I return to Greece,” set up a yahoo account, and put it on craigslist, all within a few minutes. I felt tense, because I thought maybe she would be a little mad at me.

She wasn’t, and now she has a date for coffee with someone after work today. She is nervous, of course.

Which brings us to:

Help!!! I posted a personal ad, and people are writing to me!!!

1. All kinds of people will answer your ad. Some people will answer you, because they just answer every single ad with the right sex/age demo, appropriate or not. Some people will reply with lewd comments, emotional outbursts, conversationally short emails as in “hey, wanna chat?” photos with no words, and form letters. Just ignore them. Or be like me: be horrified and fascinated by the human condition, and then hit the delete button.

2. Find between three and five people who really did read your ad, who “fit the description,” and who give you an overall good feeling. Don’t take anything they say at face value—people tend to talk themselves up, down, and sideways. What you want to pay more attention to is the tone of the email. Is it positive? Friendly? Not too pushy? Smart enough for you? Answer those. Hopefully, after a few emails, you can narrow it down to between two and three people you can go out and meet. Laying your hopes on one person can spell ruin. So reply to a couple of nice people, even if they are not your "favorite."

3. Go out and meet them! Don’t let this first meeting be a date, though. A little coffee/beer/soda to start out with, and have a conversation. MEET THEM IN A CROWDED PLACE, WITH PEOPLE AROUND- say yes to the diner, the mall, the coffeeshop, and say no to his/her place, midnight in the woods, the "romantic cliff with the view," and the ditch by the highway. Try to wear something so that they will recognize you. I used to always wear a green t-shirt with a giant foot on the front. For me, meeting people physically after meeting them online always feels unnatural. It takes a few moments to get used to the person's looks (whether they are hot or not).

4. If you don't meet anyone on this volley, don't be discouraged. Maybe you picked the wrong paper/website for you. Try a few others. Try describing yourself a few other ways. Enjoy meeting people--even if they're not quite right. I have gotten quite a few memorable dates from personals. (I'll write of those adventures another time).