Parenting Part Deux

While I have never heard a real adult say that having a child ruined his life--I have heard people say that divorce does, especially if there are children involved. Even if your spouse doesn't take you for all your worth through alimony and child support, you will have to deal with that person until your kids 'r done raised, and every big event in your kids' lives thereafter. Plus there is the guilt factor. I personally feel guilty that I wasn't strong enough to stay with my ex-. So guilty that I didn't even think about taking what's rightfully mine (my own stuff). I basically started out again with nothing.

And being a single parent is tough. There never seems to be enough money, and you are the only one doing the cooking, cleaning, etc. You are tired all the time. Even if you don't have custody, you have the burden of paying out every month without the pleasure of having your kids about.

Seeing as 50% of marriages end in divorce, I can't say that there is any one sure thing you can do to protect yourself, except to make sure that your spouse is sane and not addicted to anything from the get-go, and that you have the same ideas about how money should be spent (not sure you're in complete agreement? To check and make sure, look at any reference titles they may own. If they want to spend money on houses, there will be books on that. Vacations, travel books. And so on).

As soon as the word "commitment" is used, the relationship is over. Commitment is about "hanging in" and not hanging out. And we need someone we can hang out with on this journey. So, I guess that's the moral of part two: if you can find someone to hang out with, the kid-thing is a non-issue.

I have to say that being divorced is not without its fringe benefits: while married couples fight to find time and energy for sex, on the weekends my kid stays with his dad who he loves, while I get to have fabu-sex with the man I love. Talk about win-win. That's win-win-win.

Next: Parenting, Part Three: How come this isn't fun yet?