http://www.dumbmoments.com/
A laugh riot.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Good Time Girls
So, not too long ago, I was in a bar (again) and the gentleman next to me said to the bar maid, “You’re just a good time girl, right, Jeanie?”
First, I was horrified that this guy basically called this girl a slut right to her face (that’s what that means to us, in woman language, you know). She ignored him. So he says, “You just like to go out and have a good time.” I think she ignored him again, or mumbled something dismissive.
I looked at this normally very nice gentleman, and all I could think was, “There is no such thing as a good time girl.” That is, a girl that just wants to go out and have sex, after the age of 25. And the ones under 25 are out looking…for a partner, but they’re not sure what they want yet, so they are just kind of going out and experimenting. They seem like good time girls, but they are really just fishing.
Myself, I often seem like a good time girl. I like to go out and party, but that’s just a preference over staying in and watching tv—the way I like to enjoy myself.
So, how do I know there aren’t good time girls out there? There are all those strippers, and “Girls Gone Wild” videos and chics in porn flix, right?
All women, saddled with the possibility of a child or a disease from having sex or a “good time” want or need something so badly they will put up with those possibilities. Strippers and porn chics want money. Girls Gone Wild—or any chic willing to do body shots, etc., are not lucid anyway, but they want attention. Women with kids need general help, and of course, your avuncular attitude toward their kids. A lot of women are looking for marriage, because in our society, still, you are not a success without a man in your life. Some women want you to take care of them financially. Myself, I like companionship, someone to keep the jerks away when I go out to see bands, and a regular sex partner (cause I hate condoms).
Sidebar:
Love? Of course we love. I am talking about the beginning of things, because it takes a while for love to develop. But even after we love, isn’t it nice to be needed?
Back to the main show:
Sorry to debunk the “Good Time Girl” myth. All girls--even sexy girls--have lives, hard ones too, with consequences. And we all exist when you are not here.
First, I was horrified that this guy basically called this girl a slut right to her face (that’s what that means to us, in woman language, you know). She ignored him. So he says, “You just like to go out and have a good time.” I think she ignored him again, or mumbled something dismissive.
I looked at this normally very nice gentleman, and all I could think was, “There is no such thing as a good time girl.” That is, a girl that just wants to go out and have sex, after the age of 25. And the ones under 25 are out looking…for a partner, but they’re not sure what they want yet, so they are just kind of going out and experimenting. They seem like good time girls, but they are really just fishing.
Myself, I often seem like a good time girl. I like to go out and party, but that’s just a preference over staying in and watching tv—the way I like to enjoy myself.
So, how do I know there aren’t good time girls out there? There are all those strippers, and “Girls Gone Wild” videos and chics in porn flix, right?
All women, saddled with the possibility of a child or a disease from having sex or a “good time” want or need something so badly they will put up with those possibilities. Strippers and porn chics want money. Girls Gone Wild—or any chic willing to do body shots, etc., are not lucid anyway, but they want attention. Women with kids need general help, and of course, your avuncular attitude toward their kids. A lot of women are looking for marriage, because in our society, still, you are not a success without a man in your life. Some women want you to take care of them financially. Myself, I like companionship, someone to keep the jerks away when I go out to see bands, and a regular sex partner (cause I hate condoms).
Sidebar:
Love? Of course we love. I am talking about the beginning of things, because it takes a while for love to develop. But even after we love, isn’t it nice to be needed?
Back to the main show:
Sorry to debunk the “Good Time Girl” myth. All girls--even sexy girls--have lives, hard ones too, with consequences. And we all exist when you are not here.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Response to NYTimes Essay: Fic vs. Non-fic in a 9/11 World
On the last page of the New York Times Book Review section (8/7) this week there is an essay stating that fiction is being cut back from magazines, as if it were a recent phenom, but actually, as a short story writer since the early '90's (ok, so I haven't been that prolific, but I have tried to send my stuff out) I can say that the editors of general interest mags have been cutting back on their fic since then.
But...one of the issues brought up by the essayist was that since 9/11, there hasn't been much fic in response to that tragedy. Or set in the post 9/11 world in a meaningful way. And that now we're a news centered culture.
This person is thinking of 9/11 like it's an event that's over, like it's a calendar day gone by. And now we're in a new world, a new day. It's not true. Here is the truth: There has been no new day since 9/11. After the planes hit the World Trade Center, we waited for more planes to hit, more buildings to explode. We waited, in front of TV's, hungrily eyeing our sets, to decide if we should flee, to look for some key to our own safety, to controlling our own destinies.
The calendar days rolled by, but the next explosions never came. And while we go through the pretense of our daily lives of working, raising our kids, getting married, partying on, we are still waiting, looking at our TVs, newspapers, magazines, websites for a new explosion, a message, a clue, a key to our survival.
But...one of the issues brought up by the essayist was that since 9/11, there hasn't been much fic in response to that tragedy. Or set in the post 9/11 world in a meaningful way. And that now we're a news centered culture.
This person is thinking of 9/11 like it's an event that's over, like it's a calendar day gone by. And now we're in a new world, a new day. It's not true. Here is the truth: There has been no new day since 9/11. After the planes hit the World Trade Center, we waited for more planes to hit, more buildings to explode. We waited, in front of TV's, hungrily eyeing our sets, to decide if we should flee, to look for some key to our own safety, to controlling our own destinies.
The calendar days rolled by, but the next explosions never came. And while we go through the pretense of our daily lives of working, raising our kids, getting married, partying on, we are still waiting, looking at our TVs, newspapers, magazines, websites for a new explosion, a message, a clue, a key to our survival.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Butt Crack Raaaawk!
Butt Crack Rawk USA! More workin'! Less thinkin'! YEAAH!
Hey, Workin' Stiffs! This album is dedicated to you!
1. Gimme Three Steps (Lynyrd!)
2. Ol' Time Rockin' Roll (Bob!)
3. Big Ol' Jet Airliner (Steve!)
4. Smoke on the Water (Deep!)
5. She's Got Legs! (ZZ!)
6. All We Are is Dust In the Wind (Kan!)
7. We're an American Band (Grand!)
8. Dead or Alive (Bon!)
9. More Than a Feeling (Bos!)
10. Centerfield (John!)
11. Pianoman (Billy!)
12. Margaritaville (Jimmy!)
13. Born in the USA (Bruce!)
Butt-Crack Raaaawk--Rockin' Round the Woooooooorld
1. Takin' Care Of Business (BTO, Canada)
2. Highway to Hell (AC/DC Australia)
3. Won't Get Fooled Again (The Who, UK, England)
4. Boys Are Back in Town (Thin Lizzy, UK, Ireland)
5. Maggie May (Rod, UK, England)
6. Start Me Up (Rolling Stones, UK, England)
7. We Will Rock You (Queen)
8. Radar Love (Golden Earring)
9. Whole Lotta Love (Led, UK, England)
10. Little Help from my Friends (Beatles, UK, England)
11. Cocaine (Eric, UK, England)
Hey, Workin' Stiffs! This album is dedicated to you!
1. Gimme Three Steps (Lynyrd!)
2. Ol' Time Rockin' Roll (Bob!)
3. Big Ol' Jet Airliner (Steve!)
4. Smoke on the Water (Deep!)
5. She's Got Legs! (ZZ!)
6. All We Are is Dust In the Wind (Kan!)
7. We're an American Band (Grand!)
8. Dead or Alive (Bon!)
9. More Than a Feeling (Bos!)
10. Centerfield (John!)
11. Pianoman (Billy!)
12. Margaritaville (Jimmy!)
13. Born in the USA (Bruce!)
Butt-Crack Raaaawk--Rockin' Round the Woooooooorld
1. Takin' Care Of Business (BTO, Canada)
2. Highway to Hell (AC/DC Australia)
3. Won't Get Fooled Again (The Who, UK, England)
4. Boys Are Back in Town (Thin Lizzy, UK, Ireland)
5. Maggie May (Rod, UK, England)
6. Start Me Up (Rolling Stones, UK, England)
7. We Will Rock You (Queen)
8. Radar Love (Golden Earring)
9. Whole Lotta Love (Led, UK, England)
10. Little Help from my Friends (Beatles, UK, England)
11. Cocaine (Eric, UK, England)
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Giving Great Head in a Tired World.
I would really, really like to write a post about love today. But I am exhausted.
My boyfriend met the wacky parents this weekend.
My dad's your basic mad scientist, retired. I can't really describe my mom. She's a mad spiritualist/interior decorator/hippie cook. What can I say? She collects everything in the world, including animal skulls. Oh, except for hummels or anything "cute" If it's cute, you can count on it not being in her house.
In my tired world, I think I will talk briefly about something exhausting, if you do it the wrong way: giving head. To a guy, I mean. There are lots of books and mag articles that talk about the different ways you can do it: humming, licking, etc. That information you can find anywhere.
All I want to say is this: Giving very good head, and remaining comfy while doing it are the same thing. Every time you get tired, or bored or uncomfortable, just change what you are doing. That's it. It will give you incredible endurance, and the more important thing: it drives the guy absolutely crazy. Especially if he tells you not to stop.
Let the excruciating pleasure begin.
My boyfriend met the wacky parents this weekend.
My dad's your basic mad scientist, retired. I can't really describe my mom. She's a mad spiritualist/interior decorator/hippie cook. What can I say? She collects everything in the world, including animal skulls. Oh, except for hummels or anything "cute" If it's cute, you can count on it not being in her house.
In my tired world, I think I will talk briefly about something exhausting, if you do it the wrong way: giving head. To a guy, I mean. There are lots of books and mag articles that talk about the different ways you can do it: humming, licking, etc. That information you can find anywhere.
All I want to say is this: Giving very good head, and remaining comfy while doing it are the same thing. Every time you get tired, or bored or uncomfortable, just change what you are doing. That's it. It will give you incredible endurance, and the more important thing: it drives the guy absolutely crazy. Especially if he tells you not to stop.
Let the excruciating pleasure begin.
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
Monday, August 1, 2005
6 Second Reviews
The Long Emergency, by James Howard Kunstler
The earth has a finite amount of oil on it, responsible for most of our electricity, population explosion, and suburbs. The earth is already running out of oil. When it finally runs out, in the next ten-fifty years, most of our electricity/transportation aka our way of life will end (including hospitals, air conditioning, automobiles, and supermarkets. A lot of people will die. Sure signs this will happen is skyrocketing then wildly fluctuating gas and oil prices, skyrocketing supermarket prices. Oil is already $60/barrel now.
My recommendation: Go out and buy two books. This one, and an organic farming book. Reconnect with a relative in a small town, so you have a place to escape to (cities will have sanitation problems). That way, if the engineers don't come up with an alternative energy source in time, you'll have a plan.
Wah uv Da Woilds
Starring: Dreamworks Special Effects Team and Tom Cruise
Good, despite Tom Cruise is in it. Some nice scary/creepy parts--and some intense images of people turning into dust.
The earth has a finite amount of oil on it, responsible for most of our electricity, population explosion, and suburbs. The earth is already running out of oil. When it finally runs out, in the next ten-fifty years, most of our electricity/transportation aka our way of life will end (including hospitals, air conditioning, automobiles, and supermarkets. A lot of people will die. Sure signs this will happen is skyrocketing then wildly fluctuating gas and oil prices, skyrocketing supermarket prices. Oil is already $60/barrel now.
My recommendation: Go out and buy two books. This one, and an organic farming book. Reconnect with a relative in a small town, so you have a place to escape to (cities will have sanitation problems). That way, if the engineers don't come up with an alternative energy source in time, you'll have a plan.
Wah uv Da Woilds
Starring: Dreamworks Special Effects Team and Tom Cruise
Good, despite Tom Cruise is in it. Some nice scary/creepy parts--and some intense images of people turning into dust.
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