Butt Crack Rawk USA! More workin'! Less thinkin'! YEAAH!
Hey, Workin' Stiffs! This album is dedicated to you!
1. Gimme Three Steps (Lynyrd!)
2. Ol' Time Rockin' Roll (Bob!)
3. Big Ol' Jet Airliner (Steve!)
4. Smoke on the Water (Deep!)
5. She's Got Legs! (ZZ!)
6. All We Are is Dust In the Wind (Kan!)
7. We're an American Band (Grand!)
8. Dead or Alive (Bon!)
9. More Than a Feeling (Bos!)
10. Centerfield (John!)
11. Pianoman (Billy!)
12. Margaritaville (Jimmy!)
13. Born in the USA (Bruce!)
Butt-Crack Raaaawk--Rockin' Round the Woooooooorld
1. Takin' Care Of Business (BTO, Canada)
2. Highway to Hell (AC/DC Australia)
3. Won't Get Fooled Again (The Who, UK, England)
4. Boys Are Back in Town (Thin Lizzy, UK, Ireland)
5. Maggie May (Rod, UK, England)
6. Start Me Up (Rolling Stones, UK, England)
7. We Will Rock You (Queen)
8. Radar Love (Golden Earring)
9. Whole Lotta Love (Led, UK, England)
10. Little Help from my Friends (Beatles, UK, England)
11. Cocaine (Eric, UK, England)
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Giving Great Head in a Tired World.
I would really, really like to write a post about love today. But I am exhausted.
My boyfriend met the wacky parents this weekend.
My dad's your basic mad scientist, retired. I can't really describe my mom. She's a mad spiritualist/interior decorator/hippie cook. What can I say? She collects everything in the world, including animal skulls. Oh, except for hummels or anything "cute" If it's cute, you can count on it not being in her house.
In my tired world, I think I will talk briefly about something exhausting, if you do it the wrong way: giving head. To a guy, I mean. There are lots of books and mag articles that talk about the different ways you can do it: humming, licking, etc. That information you can find anywhere.
All I want to say is this: Giving very good head, and remaining comfy while doing it are the same thing. Every time you get tired, or bored or uncomfortable, just change what you are doing. That's it. It will give you incredible endurance, and the more important thing: it drives the guy absolutely crazy. Especially if he tells you not to stop.
Let the excruciating pleasure begin.
My boyfriend met the wacky parents this weekend.
My dad's your basic mad scientist, retired. I can't really describe my mom. She's a mad spiritualist/interior decorator/hippie cook. What can I say? She collects everything in the world, including animal skulls. Oh, except for hummels or anything "cute" If it's cute, you can count on it not being in her house.
In my tired world, I think I will talk briefly about something exhausting, if you do it the wrong way: giving head. To a guy, I mean. There are lots of books and mag articles that talk about the different ways you can do it: humming, licking, etc. That information you can find anywhere.
All I want to say is this: Giving very good head, and remaining comfy while doing it are the same thing. Every time you get tired, or bored or uncomfortable, just change what you are doing. That's it. It will give you incredible endurance, and the more important thing: it drives the guy absolutely crazy. Especially if he tells you not to stop.
Let the excruciating pleasure begin.
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
Monday, August 1, 2005
6 Second Reviews
The Long Emergency, by James Howard Kunstler
The earth has a finite amount of oil on it, responsible for most of our electricity, population explosion, and suburbs. The earth is already running out of oil. When it finally runs out, in the next ten-fifty years, most of our electricity/transportation aka our way of life will end (including hospitals, air conditioning, automobiles, and supermarkets. A lot of people will die. Sure signs this will happen is skyrocketing then wildly fluctuating gas and oil prices, skyrocketing supermarket prices. Oil is already $60/barrel now.
My recommendation: Go out and buy two books. This one, and an organic farming book. Reconnect with a relative in a small town, so you have a place to escape to (cities will have sanitation problems). That way, if the engineers don't come up with an alternative energy source in time, you'll have a plan.
Wah uv Da Woilds
Starring: Dreamworks Special Effects Team and Tom Cruise
Good, despite Tom Cruise is in it. Some nice scary/creepy parts--and some intense images of people turning into dust.
The earth has a finite amount of oil on it, responsible for most of our electricity, population explosion, and suburbs. The earth is already running out of oil. When it finally runs out, in the next ten-fifty years, most of our electricity/transportation aka our way of life will end (including hospitals, air conditioning, automobiles, and supermarkets. A lot of people will die. Sure signs this will happen is skyrocketing then wildly fluctuating gas and oil prices, skyrocketing supermarket prices. Oil is already $60/barrel now.
My recommendation: Go out and buy two books. This one, and an organic farming book. Reconnect with a relative in a small town, so you have a place to escape to (cities will have sanitation problems). That way, if the engineers don't come up with an alternative energy source in time, you'll have a plan.
Wah uv Da Woilds
Starring: Dreamworks Special Effects Team and Tom Cruise
Good, despite Tom Cruise is in it. Some nice scary/creepy parts--and some intense images of people turning into dust.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Why Go After the Right Person?
When there are so many ways you can f@$k yourself? And so many of the wrong people are out there? They are so easy to find--turn around! There's one right behind you!
There are two great ways to f&*k yourself I can think of, right off the bat:
Half Ass
These people give you a half-assed time of just about everything: they can only see you half the time; they call sometimes, and it's just dry blah-blah, nothing meaningful; they give you just enough attention to string you along, but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty (whatever that means to you) they are just not around. And you wonder: will this get better? Will this person change? Will I ever get what I want (attention/time/sex/marriage) out of them?
The answer to those questions is 99% no, so shed your tear, and just tell'em you gotta go. And if you don't have the strength to forget about them, imagine this scenario: What if someone magically gave you the attention/time/sex/marriage you were looking for? How do you feel? Is it comfortable for you? No? That's why you're at where you're at, baby.
Another Great Way to F&^k yourself is to go out with the
Full-On Ass
These people are "there for you" all the time. There for pissing on you, that is. No matter what you do, something is not right. There's no end to complaining,finding a way to look down on you, making you feel bad. After a while, you may find yourself lying to them, keeping things from them, not talking to them quite so much, or in the same way. You may feel resentful. Sometimes, the issue that you keep from them may seem small, like your religion, if you go once a year. But the issue will come up and keep growing, until you find you are lying or sneaking or feeling resentment toward your partner, who is there for you, pissing on you because they think your religion is stupid.
You really do not need this person either, no matter how secure you feel with them, or how much they say they need you. They just need you to make them feel better about themselves. No matter how much they say they need you, dump them. You will find out how replaceable you really are, because these people just need someone--anyone--around to make themselves feel better. And losers abound. Didn't you trip on one on the way to work this morning? I bet you did!
If you do not have the strength to dump this person, I must ask you: why do you want to feel like crap? Is this the way your parents treated you? Has everyone treated you this way? Do you think there is no one out there who will treat you better?
How about this: Can you treat yourself any better? Do me a favor and try, because I can't stand to see anyone piss on you that way.
There are two great ways to f&*k yourself I can think of, right off the bat:
Half Ass
These people give you a half-assed time of just about everything: they can only see you half the time; they call sometimes, and it's just dry blah-blah, nothing meaningful; they give you just enough attention to string you along, but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty (whatever that means to you) they are just not around. And you wonder: will this get better? Will this person change? Will I ever get what I want (attention/time/sex/marriage) out of them?
The answer to those questions is 99% no, so shed your tear, and just tell'em you gotta go. And if you don't have the strength to forget about them, imagine this scenario: What if someone magically gave you the attention/time/sex/marriage you were looking for? How do you feel? Is it comfortable for you? No? That's why you're at where you're at, baby.
Another Great Way to F&^k yourself is to go out with the
Full-On Ass
These people are "there for you" all the time. There for pissing on you, that is. No matter what you do, something is not right. There's no end to complaining,finding a way to look down on you, making you feel bad. After a while, you may find yourself lying to them, keeping things from them, not talking to them quite so much, or in the same way. You may feel resentful. Sometimes, the issue that you keep from them may seem small, like your religion, if you go once a year. But the issue will come up and keep growing, until you find you are lying or sneaking or feeling resentment toward your partner, who is there for you, pissing on you because they think your religion is stupid.
You really do not need this person either, no matter how secure you feel with them, or how much they say they need you. They just need you to make them feel better about themselves. No matter how much they say they need you, dump them. You will find out how replaceable you really are, because these people just need someone--anyone--around to make themselves feel better. And losers abound. Didn't you trip on one on the way to work this morning? I bet you did!
If you do not have the strength to dump this person, I must ask you: why do you want to feel like crap? Is this the way your parents treated you? Has everyone treated you this way? Do you think there is no one out there who will treat you better?
How about this: Can you treat yourself any better? Do me a favor and try, because I can't stand to see anyone piss on you that way.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
In high school, I used to paint portraits and the human figure 16 hours a day. I used to skip class to go to the art room and paint. No one gave a shit, because I got all A's.
I'd come home and paint more. Painting basically stopped when I came to NY fifteen years ago. No space in my tiny apartments.
This weekend, I painted portraits about 8 hours each day. Everything was fine, and then on one deep breath, I felt like I inhaled something more than air--it felt like my soul.
"Where have YOU been?" I asked it, a tear in my eye.
"Asleep, I think."
"Fifteen years? Screw you!" I thought at it.
It settled in to my body complacently.
And people wonder why I have problems with depression.
I'd come home and paint more. Painting basically stopped when I came to NY fifteen years ago. No space in my tiny apartments.
This weekend, I painted portraits about 8 hours each day. Everything was fine, and then on one deep breath, I felt like I inhaled something more than air--it felt like my soul.
"Where have YOU been?" I asked it, a tear in my eye.
"Asleep, I think."
"Fifteen years? Screw you!" I thought at it.
It settled in to my body complacently.
And people wonder why I have problems with depression.
Monday, July 25, 2005
I spent the weekend painting a portrait of my boyfriend and his dad--was supposed to be done for Father's Day (ha). But on Saturday night, Nike and I went out on the town. Love and Victory-- out for play on Staten Island. Smells like trouble, doesn't it, Sparky?
As much as I am outraged at shmuckish come-ons at myself, I am more so when I go out with a friend. I mean, don't these guys watch old movies? Why can't a Jimmy Stewart or Humphrey Bogart type come over and ask her if she wants a cigarette or something? There we were at the Sri Chinmoy show talking about the 20 instruments sitting on the stage, when a man in front of us starts staring at us. Staring hard. Not looking away. I see him, because he's in Nike's general direction. I thought he was going to get a crik in his neck. "Hey, Nike, that man is staring at us." She glanced up. The second she did, he said, "It says nature on your shirt. I like nature."
Have you slapped your forehead yet?
If not, try this: He hears her accent and says, "So, are you from Russia?"
Nike: No.
Schmuck: Poland?
Nike: No.
Schmuck:Ukrainia
Nike: No
Me: How many countries are there in the world? Two hundred?
Nike: I'll give you a hint. Mediterranean.
Schmuck: Greece!
Nike: Uh-huh.
Soon after they announced Sri would be 1/2 hour late. We left. Wonder why.
OK, this guy did not follow ANYTHING in my ToGL formula. Nothing. He stared for too long. (Creepy) He talked about her instead of our surroundings (which were interesting) so it sounded like a boring line. Then he didn't pick up on any visual cues (Nike was being nice in trying to respond to him, but not looking him in the eye). And he beat a dead horse.
This is why I emailed the Staten Island Advance today, and asked for their submission guidelines for their love & dating section.
As much as I am outraged at shmuckish come-ons at myself, I am more so when I go out with a friend. I mean, don't these guys watch old movies? Why can't a Jimmy Stewart or Humphrey Bogart type come over and ask her if she wants a cigarette or something? There we were at the Sri Chinmoy show talking about the 20 instruments sitting on the stage, when a man in front of us starts staring at us. Staring hard. Not looking away. I see him, because he's in Nike's general direction. I thought he was going to get a crik in his neck. "Hey, Nike, that man is staring at us." She glanced up. The second she did, he said, "It says nature on your shirt. I like nature."
Have you slapped your forehead yet?
If not, try this: He hears her accent and says, "So, are you from Russia?"
Nike: No.
Schmuck: Poland?
Nike: No.
Schmuck:Ukrainia
Nike: No
Me: How many countries are there in the world? Two hundred?
Nike: I'll give you a hint. Mediterranean.
Schmuck: Greece!
Nike: Uh-huh.
Soon after they announced Sri would be 1/2 hour late. We left. Wonder why.
OK, this guy did not follow ANYTHING in my ToGL formula. Nothing. He stared for too long. (Creepy) He talked about her instead of our surroundings (which were interesting) so it sounded like a boring line. Then he didn't pick up on any visual cues (Nike was being nice in trying to respond to him, but not looking him in the eye). And he beat a dead horse.
This is why I emailed the Staten Island Advance today, and asked for their submission guidelines for their love & dating section.
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